Books for the News, Literature

Parker comes to the big screen

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Parker—violent anti-hero, dangerous predator, single-named fictional protagonist who chases after ex-partners, ex-wives, and well-executed financial transfers—is about to become a cinema star again. Previous film adaptations of Donald Westlake qua Richard Stark’s popular crime fiction novels have been helmed by iconic male stars such as Lee Marvin, Peter Coyote, and yes, Mel Gibson (by iconic, we mean some combination of hardboiled, hallucinogenic, and headcase-y). In the Taylor Hackford-directed Parker (set to release in October 2012—if we’re not too distracted by the pending return of Quetzalcoatl), Jason Statham will take his turn at the marvelous villain, via a screenplay based on the recently rereleased Flashfire. The only thing that could make this all that much more interesting is . . . Jennifer Lopez. Done and done.
With all this in mind, and apologies to Jason Statham, we’ve reconsidered the casting and thought about five other actors fit to finesse our ruthless protagonist:

Joe Pesci: out of work, an air of desperation, likely can get down with the West Palm Beach aesthetic

Eddie Murphy as Axel Foley as Parker: “You wanna start some static?”

Klaus Kinski: a rarefied performance, no doubt; somewhere in purgatory, Parker heists a cruise ship about to be pulled over a mount—wait. . . .

Michael Cera: forget the Arrested Development adaptation; he pretty much just keeps playing Parker in every movie, sigh

Charles Nelson Reilly: because CNR makes adult life better, period. Bummer that so many prime Parker prospects are already deceased (NB: Kinski, also Fred Gwynne). Parker and CNR: double entendre face-off!